Update

7-4-2006

Today mom left out some tomato slices and made my favorite brownies: chocolate-mint! Dad even said "Good morning" to me. I know, they just want something. That's fine. I'm in a good mood today (not having to do with them at all), and am just in the mood to enjoy life. So, that's my focus. Whatever they want isn't really my concern at this point. I'll say this: it IS nice to be valued for once. Even if it IS only shown through food.



7-2-2006

Well, after a MAJOR yelling match between my mom and I, about a week ago, maybe less than that, where a LOT of cutting remarks were made on both sides, I think we (or at least I) have finally cleared the air. While one thing I said to her is something that no daughter should EVER be pushed into saying to her own mother (or any mother), and no, I won't repeat it here, I do believe it actually did some good, in it's own twisted and very hurtful way. I think it somehow got it through to her that I've been rather unsatisfied with a lot of how she has treated me in our relationship.

But I'm not writing this to gripe or vent or whatever. I'm writing this to report some progress... Mom left a few of her homemade frenchfries out for me on the stove. Usually, she forgets I'm around so she serves them all to my dad and brother and herself. This time, she remembered me. It's the first time in a LONG time that I can remember actually feeling valued by her. I'm choosing to take this as a compliment, though I know that my real Value is from God, and really, so was this compliment.